Comfort

People tend to find comfort in everything. Some eek comfort in others, in places, in food, in behaviors... Me? I'm a mixture of all those things, I suppose. There are very specific things, places, people and foods that I run to when I need to feel safe.

Things- On the day that actor John Ritter died I went to the store and there happened to be stuffed Clifford the Big Red Dogs. Lots of people don't know that Ritter actually voiced Clifford in the animated shows and movies. I thought it would be sweet to get one of those stuffed Cliffords. I guess it was my way of paying tribute to an actor that I remembered very fondly from my childhood (mom and I watched Three's Company reruns all the time). So, I got one. I paid less than $10. And here we are now. I'm 27 years old and I can't sleep without Clifford in the bed with me. He travels with me and I often have to fuss at the pup for attempting to suckle on him (Boston Terriers love to suckle on blankets and toys). The boyfriend has accepted that it is Clifford I will spoon with in my sleep. And I honestly do not know what it is about Clifford. He just brings me this crazy sense of security that no other object is capable or has ever been capable of bringing me. I love that stuffed dog as if he were a real dog... and if you know me you know that I love few things more than I love dogs. Another thing that brings me comfort? Night time thunderstorms at night.

Places- My uncle and my father own adjacent campgrounds in the mountains of New Hampshire. The camps have tasteful permanent trailers that I've stayed in Lord knows how many times throughout my childhood. Behind the camps there is this creek. It babbles and flows with such perfect pace and tone. And, if you walk to the left about 25 feet, there is this massive rock that borders the creek. Because of the rock's size it created a small waterfall and it is just the most beautiful thing I've ever seen (or at least one of them). I haven't been since I was in the 8th grade. That's about to change, though. My cousin has agreed, quite enthusiastically, to take me to the camp when I visit her next week. I am very excited for this adventure. I am going to sit on that rock and just listen to that creek. Granted, the rock most certainly isn't going to be as "massive" to me now, but I truly hope that the places has retained the majestic qualities I remember it having as a child.

People- The boy, firstly. My boyfriend is the safest place I know. He just knows and sometimes that's all I need. I have a handful of friends that comfort me a great deal as well. You know, that friends I actually want to be around when I am in a rough spot. Mom for her hugs, Dad for his honesty and stories. My brother for his ability to make me laugh through the tears. My safety nets.

Food- As I've been typing this there has been a batch of white chocolate macadamia nut cookies baking in my oven. Forget that it's 1145pm and that I'm on a diet. It has been a rough, emotional (also premenstrual) day. All I've been thinking about for the past two hours are those cookies. I'll eat one, maybe two, and then be done. Other foods/consumables that comfort me: COFFEE, fried food, cheese, sweets, sweet tea... Lots of things. Typically when I'm down and out a specific craving will hit me and it's all I will want until I brighten up. Right now it's white chocolate macadamia nut cookies.

So, what's got me so down? I don't know. That's a lie. I know specifically every last thing that is getting to me right now. If I were to try and list and explain all of them then I would be here all night. I will leave it as this- Life is very lifelike right now... and it is doing exactly what life always does- kicking my ass.

As for the diet and whatnot, I have not officially worked out in a couple of days. However, I have been very mindful of what I'm eating and of how much I am eating. I've been taking in a lot of water and I've been only eating when I'm hungry. I can tell you that I do feel better, of the most part. I have slipped up and enjoyed a small amount of fried food and I am having these cookies tonight. Otherwise, I have been very good and I can tell my body thanks me for it. I feel lighter, my skin is clearer *knocks on wood* and I feel like I can do more. If this is how good I feel with the little I've done thus far then I can't wait to see what's to come.

Now, off to enjoy my cookie... or cookies.